HELEN, HALF-TERM REPORT

We’re halfway into my final season in D class. Time to assess where we stand.

The new regs this year were aimed at slowing us down. Add the 70kg penalty to the class D cars, put everyone on sticky tyres, and the modified boys should get away. So, we expect to be slower, relatively speaking.

How much slower is the question. 70kg is a lot. I know from experience that a mere 40kg out of the car will give me a measurable improvement at CadwellPark. The car is sensitive to it because there is so little power, and there are a lot of hills there!

I wouldn’t be surprised if that 70kg slowed a car down by half a second per lap anywhere, and more at a longer circuit. I know the Cadwell trackday in March didn’t reflect that, as we put in a competitive time on the T1R, but that is because the car was now handling properly, and despite the penalty we could still hit the magic Lock laptime. It should have been slower, but we improved the car and went faster. Annoying, in that had the car not been heavier she'd therefore have been pretty special this season.

But the tyres give more grip, so we are going faster anyway. How much more grip is debatable. I reckon 1.5 to 2 seconds per lap anywhere with any corners, the Oultons and Cadwells, less at Snett, Brands etc. They are not 888s. Some cars can’t find any new grip on them at all, which I find baffling. Though despite the extra weight they aren't going any slower, so they are faster, if that makes sense.

So, how is Helen doing?

Well, 5 class wins from 6 races. The missing win was due to head gasket failure after a dose of bad fuel destroyed the fire rings. Hardly her fault!

The damage so far this season is 2 head gaskets – but the second was always going to follow the first without a head skim! – and 2 hubs. The hubs do worry me.

We have used a full set of R1Rs, completely destroyed 2, worn 2 more absolutely bald, and we’re a way into the second pair on the front. That is despite greatly reduced testing mileage, I’ve done less than half what I would usually want.

We’re 2 sets of front Mintex down, but the discs have lived. That is better than I’m used to, by now with Ferodo I’d be on the third set of discs. Though the brakes are not up to the job, the Ferodo were a better pad, but at the cost of many brake discs. In fairness, they were probably a safer, if expensive option.

We are still on a standard engine, and head. No modifications. I don’t expect to ever get a power upgrade or low diff. This car is running stock D class power and drivetrain. It is making me more vulnerable, but in turn makes her speed more satisfying, there are no trick bits you can point to to explain it. All in the setup, which means her pace is all down to the two tame McGiverns. I swear a monkey could drive the thing quickly.

How quickly?

I measure the car’s success according to her position relative to the leader, or Chris Palmer. It’s not about class D, it’s about outright pace. I know, somewhere inside, that class D is not as fast as E or G, but I am still reluctant to accept it.

The problem is that in 2008 we had some giant-slaying races, race wins, front row qualifiers, 2^nd places, dicing with the Lyddalls and Pearces in the rain, scaring the hell out of Palmer in the dry, such that I now expect to do so. 2009, a couple of exceptions apart was a real let down, the car not working properly and a string of DNFs, but this year the magic is back again, but I just can’t convert it to the overall position I think she deserves.

Snett, OK, I can do nothing about, I accept that, two enormous straights linked by a few token corners, handling isn’t king there. Brands I can get a bit closer, and indeed I was a bit peeved not to be able to pass for third, but still, that was a good race, worrying Palmer is what I call a good day, it’s my yardstick. Anglesey was a let down, but it was the car breaking rather than my error, and I can forgive myself that. Oulton, holding off Chris so long, another good day. 

But, the lead car pace at Brands, Anglesey, and Oulton, was not anywhere near where I was playing.

Lead car at Brands was Bear, and he was an easy second per lap faster. At Anglesey it was Chris, he had 2.5 seconds per lap, and at Oulton it was Bear again, nearly 3 seconds ahead. I mean, those aren’t bad gaps, we’re not talking 10 seconds per lap, but it’s not close enough.

The car isn’t a front-runner any longer. She has moved on over 2008, but the modified boys have moved further on this tyre, and I cannot make the difference, I’m not good enough to overcome the weight, the lack of power, or the lesser grip. And that does damage the ego a little.

That does, in turn, make you wonder if you’re driving correctly. When you’re worrying the grid in a class D car, as in ’08, there’s no question, you must be doing it right or you wouldn’t be there. But now we’ve dropped back, despite the car being all she can be, is it that I’ve lost the ability to drive it, or is it that the goalposts have moved? It has taken a little time this season to adjust to where the car is again, the repaired rear and the new rubber have changed things again, and I don't adapt quickly.

Certainly the Bear is flirting with making that quantum leap forward, any day now he is going to simply engage warp drive and make us all look absolutely stupid, and that will be a very bittersweet moment indeed, because sibling rivalry ignores the equipment. When we watch a race video and we see him come belting past, don’t think for a second that he acknowledges that he may have a faster car.

That said, having taken Helen around Anglesey and struggled with her, he does have greater respect for her achievements. I do wish he wouldn't keep telling people in a peculiar Mexican accent that I "drive like a crazy bitch" though.

Stewert is still consistently ahead of me. He has a car that hasn’t been developed for 2 years, old tyres, and his style is more insanity than technique half the time, but that car is still ahead of me. Not by much, we have narrowed the gap with the new rubber, but not enough to out-qualify him. I ought to be satisfied with being able to hang much closer to him, but sadly his is no longer the lead V12. Pace has moved on again. He must, like me, be feeling that the grid is inching away from him. Unlike me though, a few quid spent there can get him back to the front, whereas no matter what I spend I can't get back up there.

Truth is, in the races Helen has done so well at in the past, she wasn’t really doing well, she and I were just less shit than the others were doing. On the days that they get it half right, that’s better than anything we can achieve even if we nail every last corner to perfection. Which I’m not claiming I can do anyway!

The sad fact is that we are hooning 1.6 tonnes of rubber-suspensioned barge round with enough power to just about pull a greasy stick out of a dog’s arse, with brakes that can’t cope, on tyres that aren’t safe. That we are only that much slower than the front runners should be enough, but it’s not. It is inevitable that I have to get out of class D and into something that can do the job. Ego has always said that I should be able to defy the laws of physics and plain out-drive them. It’s not true though.

The daft thing is, I do think we’re closer to the pace than we were last year. I don’t think we have been slowed down, we have actually caught up a bit despite trying to slow us down, I just don’t think we can get much closer.

I know I bang on about the extra weight this year, but I can actually feel it there, it's a tangible presence, I haven't sat down to work out how many percent it is of the total weight, but I can physically feel it in a corner, working against me, I can literally feel the speed being sucked away, and that's frustrating. To have been actively slowed down is enough to make the red mists descend, it is taking some effort to keep the car calm and not start throwing it at the road like a maniac to prove a point.

What of class D? Well, to be frank, we have had them well beaten so far. At Snetterton I was half a minute clear despite being fast asleep most of the race. At Brands it was a small gap in quali, but nearly half a lap in the race. Anglesey was a poor showing for me, the broken car from the back of the grid on bald tyres, trying to nurse it to the finish  without using full power, and trying to pass without risk, it allowed a closer class D race than usual. Oulton was a proper demonstration of her capabilities, 54 seconds over p2 in 17 minutes, nearly 7 seconds per lap. It’s what you might call convincing.

The good news is that there are class D cars rumoured to be coming back from every corner. Lock’s is allegedly being refurbished. Dave Bye is building one and threatening to field it with either himself or Rich Dorlin at the wheel for the season end. Palmer has Ray Hill’s car being set back to D spec. We like that. Get some faster D cars out. Shame it’s my last season in the class really, by the time they come out I'll be done.