OULTON

Race 6, and once again Palmer reigns...

We don't have any pictures for Oulton at all, just 2 of a certain blue car we bought, there just aren't any others, even JEC have only one shot of an XJS, they aren't out there. If you bought your pictures of this race, scan 'em and send 'em and I'll put 'em in here, or it's just going to look from the photos like I won the race, and I didn't, I was nowhere!

OULTONPARK

Qualifying.

Mixed quali, but the longest track of the year, so not, for once, a problem. And to be fair, there are so few XJS here today that each one of them would have 400 yards of private track all to themselves. Despite this there were still traffic jams out there as people failed to comprehend that the purpose of qualifying is to set a fast lap rather than race each other. How there can be drivers still not understanding that is truly baffling.

Those that did get that simple concept found space to set a time and we finally have a more conventional grid lineup, V12s and class Es at the front, D cars relegated to row 3 where they belong. Still no class Fs, they appear to have died out.

Lyddall on pole by a margin so healthy it was found trying to mate with a stopwatch, 3 seconds per lap over second placed Palmer and a good lump faster than his own previous best, but the V12 lap record continuing to elude.

Palmer well placed for his trademark lightning start, but Merrett has qualified well in 4^th and is also poised to drop that monster horsepower on the floor off the line.

Coppock’s V12 demonstrates itself capable once reliable, and takes third, Harrison in 5^th his worst qualifying in many races, complaining of imbalance and difficult handling. Some people are such divas.

Roger Webster 6^th, loving the wider rubber he’s testing, and over a second faster than a returning Matt Skelton in 7th, Seath and Comer the remaining pair of class D musketeers in what is likely to be the hardest-fought spot on the grid.

Burton’s V12 heads Cologne-Brookes’ newly-engined 4 litre, a welcome return to the series by the veteran campaigner, but the car untested. Beecham is tail-end Charlie, still refusing to accept he’s faster in orange.

The spread of laptimes? 25 seconds per lap between fastest and slowest XJS. Over 2.7 miles  we’re talking a 13mph average difference, the slowest car is 20% slower than the fastest. Which is unusual. Also unusual is the way the grid segregates, quali shows several distinct groups of cars.

There’s Lyddall on pole in a different race to the rest, Palmer to Skelton a fairly normal distribution of cars and times, a 4 second hole before the next trio of Seath to Burton, then a 12 second chasm to the next pair.

These big steps in performance aren’t normal in the XJS series. Low turnout helps explain some of it, there aren’t enough cars to fill in the gaps, but there’s also Oulton’s intimidation factor, some of those barriers are a bit on the close side and do see folk easing off the loud pedal a little early. Which in some ways explains Lyddall’s pole time, his unusual haircut merely disguises the screw-top head that allows his chief engineer to remove his brain before qualifying.

No Alex Harrison, his car destroyed for him at Mallory, he was found drinking beer at 10am on the test day and taking a perverse pleasure in a weekend “off.”

RACE

With a split grid we have an odd race here. The saloons are setting off 30 seconds after the XJS, so we have two distinct races. Which means we report only on the XJS race, we have to pretend the saloons aren’t there.

Except they are, and the front-running saloons have got to contend with slow XJS early in the race, back markers from both series will interrupt the leaders of the other. On the other hand, slower cars from each series who don’t care about the result get new people to play with and probably get more for their money than usual, so it’s swings and roundabouts, probably a climbing frame and one of those pointless log-cabin forts that look great until you get to them and find nothing to do but kick the empty beer cans around.

With only 11 XJS out there, this ought to have been a very, very dull race. Happily for us we have a Lyddall, and he knows exactly how to entertain, make a complete Horlicks on lap 1 and start again…

A great start for Palmer sees him rocket straight into the lead, Lyddall with too much wheelspin charges at Old Hall with the massively-quick Merrett alongside. Lyddall takes the inside line and as he runs out on the exit Merrett finds himself taking grass.

Coppock makes a bad start and has Harrison slip between him and the pitwall to drop him to 4^th. Harrison also passes Merrett during his autocross moment.

Into Cascades and Lyddall goes in far too hot to try and regain position on Palmer, falls off the road for a grasstracking experience, and drops to last.

Uncertainty about whether Lyddall was about to spear back onto the tarmac causes some bunching in the pack, Merrett nips back ahead of Harrison into 2^nd. Palmer checks the mirrors and can’t believe his luck, gets his foot down and won’t be seen again.

Skelton’s start is compromised by the botch Coppock made ahead, he can’t make any gain on the fast-starting Webster and has to watch helplessly as class D rival Harrison gets away.

Comer is in trouble straight away, in qualifying for another race he managed to fly literally over the top of a Caterham and despite a gaffa-tape special it’s instantly clear that he has a problem with the steering.

He drops steadily backwards and is last by the end of lap 1. Persevering with it he is losing over 30 seconds per lap on the leader and retires the car on lap 2, game over. Fortunately you can’t discourage a Comer that easily, his airborne exploits enough of an adventure in anyone’s book.

Big winner off the line is Cologne-Brooks, he makes up 3 places on lap 1 alone, and is slotted in right behind Seath. Their pace is extremely close, BCB has the gap down to 0.7 of a second in a tight 5-lap contest, which is sadly ended when the untested car starts to show hidden gremlins and is forced to retire on lap 5. An encouraging return to the series though.

Burton is still dialling into the car and the series and lies a comfortable 8 seconds adrift of this battle, now tangled up in the saloon front-runners as they munch their way through the XJS grid on lap 4.

Bob Beecham has been swallowed by the saloon grid on lap 2 and is now stuck in a race-long duel with Dangerous Brian, there’s always someone to race here, and we’d mention that he will hold off the X300 to the flag, if we were reporting on the saloons.

Peter Dorlin will in fact claw his way to within a few seconds of Matt Skelton by the flag in an imperious display, he actually finished 8^th overall despite the 30-second delay, but we’re not reporting that. Bloody well done though if we were!

The mixed grid does provide for a bizarre spectacle, as drivers are encountering spinning and retired cars all over the track, both series merely a moving wallpaper to amuse each other, it has no direct relevance to each other’s races, but it’s giving us all something to look at, even if the rubbernecking isn’t exactly professional!

Palmer leads Merrett at the end of lap 1, by an easy 5 seconds, and he just keeps going, by lap 5 he’s cruising with a 13 second lead and making everyone else look stupid. Given clean air and no pressure he could have led this race, had he wanted to, by over half a minute.                         

Having regained 2^nd place at Cascades in the Lyddall muddle, Merrett only has Harrison in the mirrors until Coppock bullies his way past exiting Knickerbrook, minor contact as he creates a hole to drive through.

Skelton chases Webster but can’t hold on, the Green Meanie has found significant pace here and is maintaining a fairly constant 3 second gap. With the front 5 half a dozen seconds down the road and class podium on offer the Beard is doing precisely what he needs to.

Seath can’t match Skelton’s pace and is dropping steadily backwards as he staves off Cologne-Brookes, though Burton is finding pace and holding onto the tail of this pair until the saloon grid swallows him up. 

The man really on the move is Lyddall, who is dead last by turn 2 but takes 3 spots back on lap 1 alone. He’s 5^th by the end of lap 2 and despite his lairy powerslides by lap 4 he has closed on Harrison, to take 4^th on the way into Knickerbrook.

This puts him on Coppock’s tail and lap 5 sees them cross the line 2 tenths apart. The pressure has forced Coppock closer to Merret, who is only 4 tenths ahead of both. With a rampant Lyddall in the mirrors Coppock’s only move possible is an overtake on Merrett, which he pulls off cleanly to put a car in the way of the tyre-destroying Lyddall.

Palmer is fast asleep at the front and is phoning to order pizza for something to do, he’s practically slowed to a crawl at this stage and is still under no threat.

Webster is now 11 seconds adrift of the squabbling bunch of nutters and keeping Skelton in his mirrors until lap 8, when Skelton goes for a little gentle grasstracking and drops 4 seconds, though with Seath now 45 seconds behind and lost in a sea of saloons he doesn’t lose even a single position, precisely the way to go about having an off if you’re going to do it!

The duel now is Lyddall v Merrett, which reaches an intensity such that the pursuing Harrison in 5^th spot is driving through plumes of smoke and grit thrown up by the trio ahead as they elbow each other on and off the track, tyres locking as they look for an opening.

Lyddall makes the pass on Merrett at the end of lap 6 and closes again on Coppock, yet more tyre-shredding antics from the pair of them, Coppock going defensive to increase the width of his car, Lyddall has a serious pace advantage but Oulton has only a few places to make it work with cars of these dimensions.

Lyddall finds one, a very, very late lean on the stopping pedal into the last corner of the last lap, and a big broadside powerslide out of the corner, but he’s ahead, he takes 2^nd place and the class win by 3 tenths of a second.

Palmer wins, still 9 seconds clear despite having installed a small potter’s wheel in the cockpit and throwing a full dinner service, one of Palmer’s most overwhelming performances.

Lyddall second, class G winner. Coppock 3^rd and 2^nd in class.

Merrett takes class E 2^nd in 4^th place, Harrison class D victor in 5^th. Webster class E 3^rd from 6^th spot, 9 seconds clear of Skelton’s 2^nd in class 7^th.

Seath takes D 3^rd in 8^th, Burton class G 3^rd from 9^th, Beecham last of the finishers.

WINNERS AND LOSERS

WINNERS

Chris Palmer – a great start put the pressure on his only viable challenger, who obligingly crumbled under the pressure and fell off the track, leaving Palmer handed his second successive win on a plate. You don’t win if you mess it up, we invented the verb “to palmer” early in the season, but this has clearly become “to lyddall.”

Roger Webster – faster than he’s ever been here, and close to his best ever finish, improving all the time.

Ray Ingham – on the mend at last.

LOSERS

Stewert Lyddall – dropped the ball at the start and made a dick of himself at Cascades. A great recovery drive can’t disguise the fact that in qualifying he had 3 seconds per lap over the rest of the grid yet still managed to finish only second. No race win since Snetterton, and has given away 2 wins on the trot. Not good times. We are assured that he is to be given a serious slapping by his pit crew and have his main ECU reset.

Andrew Harrison – still unable to extract a competitive laptime from a car far superior to his old machinery and cruising round like he’s fast asleep.

Bruce Cologne-Brookes – a welcome return, but he needed more laps on that untested car to discover its woes before the race. The race gods are not always kind.

Attendance – it’s the longest, prettiest, 2^nd-best track of the year, and we can only manage 11 cars? Come on people, get your finger out.

Terry Dye – for not being here.